So far we've learned that: This is hard. This is amazing. This is scary. This is humbling. Did I mention this is hard? And most importantly, I will never, ever judge other mothers and/or fathers ever again.
We've all done it... From judging parents for allowing their child to co-sleep with them to sticking a pacifier in their mouth. It's so much easier to just judge someone instead of actually dealing with the situation. I had a plan (because I'm a huge planner) as to what type of mother I was going to be. But that went out the window as soon as he was born. Now, don't get me wrong, I still know what type of mother I want to be to my son, but I've done things I never thought I'd do as a parent. In my 15 weeks of parenthood we've stuck to the motto: If it works & baby is happy, then just do it!
When baby B was just a few days old, we had to take him back to the hospital for observations. His temperature was lower than normal and he wasn't gaining sufficient weight. This had me in tears and all I could do was blame myself - thank goodness my husband is the strong one and was able to reassure me everything would be fine. We were doing everything the doctor told us to do - waking him up every 2 hours to feed him, but my milk supply was just too low to keep up with the feedings. We only stayed in the hospital overnight, and everything ended up being OK. The doctor and nurses recommend that we continue the schedule feeing and to supplement with formula. Well, we ended up supplementing with formula (I was devastated - this wasn't part of my plan!). Even though several people are against feeding formula to their infants and I was brainwashed into thinking the same thing, I had to teach myself that it was OK because this is what's best for my son right now. Now, don't get me wrong... I'm all for breastmilk, but if your baby isn't getting enough, then there is absolutely nothing wrong with supplementing. As for the schedule feedings - who ever said to wake a sleeping baby is crazy. We switched to on-demand feeding, and that worked so much better for us! We had a well rested, full baby which is much more pleasant than a tired & cranky, yet full baby. Take your pick. :)
Another hurdle we came across was colic (I still cringe when I hear that word). Luckily, baby B only had a mild case of colic, but it was still horrible none the less. He also was very gassy, which made the colic worse. Because of his colic, we wanted to try anything to help soothe our little guy. I was the type of parent that was against medications (not vaccines, let's just get that straight) unless they were dying and I was totally against co-sleeping. There's not much you can give an infant, so we tried gripe water and gas relief drops, but sometimes that didn't work. On to the next remedy: cuddling & sucking. I never wanted to co-sleep, but he seemed to enjoy it... and I learned that I did too. We also introduced the pacifier to him, which really helped soothe him. We rode out the colic with him - right before he turned 3 months, like a miracle, it just stopped. Out of no where! It's heartbreaking to see your little babe cry and there's nothing you can do to soothe him. A lot of babies deal with colic, I just never thought mine would... Boy were we wrong!
I recently received the most bizarre advice to date. I was at the grocery store shopping with baby B, and a lady came by because she saw "little baby feet." She asked the usual questions, then proceeded to ask, "How is he?" I told her that he's really good, but has his fussy moments - like any baby does. She let out a loud laugh and told me her advice. When she was younger (she mentioned that she was 53) they would blow cigarette smoke on the soft spot of the baby's head, which would fix the baby right up! She also suggested putting baking soda on the baby's tongue and massaging the baby's back to help them belch. I cannot make this stuff up...
So the conclusion is: Being a parent is hard work, but it's worth it. Everyone is going to offer you some type of advice or way to raise your child, but do what you know is best and stick to it if it works. I had a plan of how I wanted to care for my baby, but things don't always go according to plan. Every single baby and parent is different! At the end of the day, we may be exhausted, our kitchen may be a mess, the trash may need to be taken out and laundry folded, but none of that really matters when you have the most precious gift to care for and play with.
